


Point Break

by vakarian_shepard



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: ALL OF THE VIOLENCE IS MENTIONED, Character Study, F/F, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Just a Mention, mention of rape, nothing specific i swear, of sorts, we all know how the templars work we all played 2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 03:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8562655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vakarian_shepard/pseuds/vakarian_shepard
Summary: "Fuck the Chantry."





	

**Author's Note:**

> honestly i hate the chantry and the templars so much and i am So Mean to my Surana i am sorry

Nadia had had enough.

Enough of crying, of apologizing, of everyone _looking_ at her like she was some sort of poor _creature_. Something _less_ —something _other_. Kira was the only one on her side, and even her over-protective hovering was getting old. 

Everyone was eating around the campfire in tense silence when she broke. Just watching Alistair and Kira and Zevran and _everyone_ avoid each other’s eyes like it was _dangerous_ just pissed her off even more. Clutching her bowl so tightly her fingers began to ache, she fixed her eyes on the flames and began to speak.

“Do you want to know why I did it?” she asked flatly. “Kira knows some of the story, but do you all want to know?”

No one answered her, so she pressed on anyway. They were going to hear it whether they liked it or not—someone had to know. Someone had to understand.

“They don’t tell you what goes on in Circles if you’re not in them—not even the Templars, really. They don’t tell you about how your privacy is stripped away. Your family. Your pride and dignity. Every move you make is scrutinized, and you’re never alone for more than a few minutes at a time—unless they ship you off to solitary confinement, of course, and even then…” She sniffed distastefully. 

“The Templars are cruel. They are vile. They are the scum of the earth. Sure, there were the occasional good ones, but they never stayed long. One man when I was 14 tried to stop another Templar from beating a girl—she and I had been brought in together. Her name was Alicia and we’d been neighbors in the Alienage before we were discovered, somehow on the same night. The Templar killed the good man, and beat Alicia to within an inch of her life before reporting to the Knight-Commander that she’d used blood magic on poor Ian, and that she deserved to die.

“And they _killed her_. They killed her while she was crying and bleeding and begging on her hands and knees because he’d broken one of her legs and she hadn’t _done anything_. That Templar that got her killed had been trying to touch her and she said ‘no’ a little too _loudly_.”

Nadia was shaking now, and the fire responded, pulsing in time with her heartbeat.

“And that’s what they did! ‘ _If you say no, if you tell anyone, I’ll say you used blood magic_.’ And I was _lucky_!” she added, raising her voice now. “The worst I ever got were _beatings_! One girl I knew got pregnant _three times_ in the ten years I spent there—and they always beat her so she lost the child but _god._ She stopped fighting back after a while, and I couldn’t decide if it was better or worse that I didn’t hear her screaming at night anymore. I asked her once why she didn’t fight back, and she said that there was no use. There were too many of them, and what could she do anyway? She didn’t want to die, even as much as she suffered, she said.” 

Nadia paused to let that sink in, beginning to bounce her legs anxiously as she could feel the horrified shock emanating from everyone around the fire.

“And it was always the elves, too, that they came after. That’s why there were so _few of us_ —because they _tortured_ us and killed us when we said _no_!” She stood abruptly, startling a few of her companions. Beginning to pace, she huffed, “And _that’s_ why I did it! Why I helped Jowan escape! Why I even resorted to blood magic in the first place—why _either of us_ resorted to blood magic! They didn’t think we were people anyway, so why not? Why not become the monsters they so wished to see? Why not take a few of the _abominations_ down with us on our way out?”

She didn’t realize that she was about to start crying until the world went blurry, and she sucked in a ragged breath, rubbing roughly at her eyes. “And fuck if I didn’t have it any better in the Alienage! My dad was killed because little tiny ten-year-old Nadia didn’t want to watch her parents get brutalized and accidentally killed a few guards with blood magic! And then they hauled me off anyway—I didn’t even get to hug my mother _goodbye_!” She sobbed, wiping at the tears that refused to stop. 

“And now she’s _dead_! And what am I even _doing anymore?_ What’s the _point!_ ” she yelled, turning on her heel abruptly and launching her bowl at a nearby tree as hard as she could. She screamed, hard and _angry_ , and she heard the fire roar behind her as she pulled at her hair.

“It’s not _fair_.” Nadia choked on another sob. “I didn’t _ask_ to be a mage, but they still imprisoned me anyway. All I did was defend my family from some stupid _shems_ , and they treated me like I was _nothing_.”

“I am not _nothing_ ,” she continued fiercely. “I am a _person_ , dammit, and if I want to do blood magic then I’ll _damn well do it_! I saved Kira’s life the other day because of it!” she added, turning to flail her arms in the general direction of her best friend. “And did any of you think to _thank me_ for that? Other than Kira herself? _No!_ ” The fire jumped up again as she shouted. “All you cared about was _Nadia_ did a _bad magic_! Nadia’s a maleficar! Nadia makes deals with demons and eats children’s souls for _breakfast_!”

“But I’m still _me_ ,” she said, deflating a little. “So you can stop looking at me like I’m about to sprout six eyes and a pair of horns, alright? I’m still a Grey Warden and I’m still determined to fight the Blight, with or without the rest of you. Because the only other choice would be to run away and the Chantry still has my _damn_ phylactery.”

She could feel all hope for escaping ever having to return to the Circle leave her as she processed that thought. Her phylactery was in Denerim now, and there was no way they could find it any time soon. 

“Fuck the Chantry,” she hissed. “Fuck the Templars. Fuck Andraste and the Maker and Tevinter and _fuck everything_!”

And that was all the energy she had left. Stumbling a few steps backward, swaying precariously on her feet, she sobbed, covering her eyes and groaning. “Ugh, I’m _sorry_. I just—sorry. Sorry.”

Nadia wasn’t sure how far she’d walked when she slowed to a stop. There weren’t any darkspawn around, as far as she could tell, but—

No, wait. Something Tainted _was_ coming towards her, and she seriously debated just letting it rip her to shreds. It’d probably be a better death than being made Tranquil, anyway.

“Nadia,” came a quiet, familiar voice. Nadia leaned her back against a tree, avoiding her friend’s face. Kira stepped in front of her then, slowly reaching for her face—giving her time to stop her, Nadia realized. 

Nadia didn’t move, just closed her eyes and leaned into Kira’s touch as she cupped her face in both hands. Kira’s thumbs swiped at the tears that met her skin, and Nadia felt more sobs building up in her chest when Kira leaned in and kissed her gently on the forehead.

“Nadia,” Kira repeated, a little more firmly as she pulled back, “look at me.”

Nadia sniffled miserably, but did as she asked.

Kira offered her a tiny smile before shaking her head and saying, “They can’t touch you anymore. They won’t touch you ever again, if I have anything to say about it.”

Nadia’s answering laugh was sad and watery. “What, if I ran off would you come with me or something?”

“To keep you safe? Absolutely.”

“What?” Was she hearing things? She couldn’t have meant that. “Why?”

Kira laughed warmly, wiping at Nadia’s tears again and brushing her hair away from her face where it had stuck to her clammy skin. “You’re practically family. I’m not going to let them take you back to that place. Ever.” She chuckled again and added, “I told Alistair he’d have to go through me if he wanted to turn you in. I meant that.”

Nadia managed to hold herself together for two whole heartbeats before the waterworks picked right back up again, and she leaned forward, letting Kira wrap strong arms around her shoulders and hold her close. Her fingers clutched at the back of Kira’s shirt as she cried, and all Kira did was rock her back and forth and run her fingers up and down her back. 

Nadia had never felt safer in her life.

“What do you say to sleeping in my tent tonight?” Kira asked softly after a few minutes.

Nadia just laughed, a little wearily, and mumbled, “Please,” into Kira’s shoulder.


End file.
